shuffling down alameda.

the wallflower.

it’s nice, you know. no one ever hates you. two of your friends could be fist fighting. and whichever you pull away, they’ll both still love you at the end of the night. you know why? cause you didnt date their ex. you didnt relay anything that was said. you didnt have an opinion, you dont even care. sometimes i feel like im there, but im totally not there. does that make any sense? the term “wallflower” puts it together perfectly. they call me up, i get invited. i show up. everyone hugs me, there isnt anyone i have to awkwardly avoid upon entrance. i dont have to ask if anyone in particular is going to be there before i decide to go. so then i sit around, make small talk, ignore the small comments being made amongst foes. then in the background, i start watching the snowball grow. then 15 minutes later, people are yelling, driving off, chasing, crying.

meanwhile there’s the wallflower, back against the wall, drink in hand. observing everything, only moving to let people pass as they go after the one who just slammed the door.

ive watched people make bad choices. throw themselves into something even when it doesnt seem right. im watching someone make a bad choice right now. it’s rebound, and it’s going to end awkwardly. i feel like i have no business telling her what to do though, im just a wallflower.

observing and overanalyzing. ive got it down to a fucking science.

“And I could see this boy doing his homework and thinking about my sister naked. And I could see them holding hands at football games that they do not watch. And I could see this boy throwing up in the bushes at a party house. And I could see my sister putting up with it.
And I felt very bad for both of them.” -stephen chbosky.

-yesi.

ps.
Meaning of Name:
Yesenia is a name that means “Flower.” The origin of this name is Arabic.

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